An online dictionary defines lament as “a passionate
expression of grief or sorrow.” As a verb, “to mourn” is perhaps the closest
synonym of “to lament.” It is a word to be used in reaction to deeply
distressing situations.
However, I found from recent use of “Google Alerts,” that “lament”
is now widely used as an expression of sadness over some things that are of no
major importance, such as the loss of an athletic contest.
Properly used, though, lament is the expression of grief
over great loss, such as by death, destruction, or disaster—such as experienced
by so many Ukrainians since the end of February.
Here is part of the opening “prayer of lament” used at the
March 19 meeting:
We recognize patterns
of privilege and systems of discrimination.
Hear our lament, O God.
We see your creation destroyed by carelessness and greed.
Hear our lament, O God.
We weep for the war in Ukraine, for victims of violence.
Hear our lament, O God.
We weep for the families forced to separate because of war.
Hear our lament, O
God.
And now, on a much smaller scale, we lament for the families
and friends of those fatally shot in Buffalo, NY, on May 14.
The importance and prevalence of lament in the Bible
is often overlooked. It is not surprising that the happy, hopeful passages are
more often quoted. But, in reality, expressions of lament are frequent in the
Bible.
Psalms, the hymnbook of the Old Testament, includes many psalms
of lament, including Psalm 22, which Jesus quoted on the cross as he was being
executed: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (v. 1).
Lamentations is one of the (little-read) books of the Old
Testament. In it, the writer (traditionally considered to be Jeremiah), “paints
a portrait of utter devastation and appalling suffering: starvation, disease,
slaughter, rape, scavenging, looting, and the desecration of holy things.”*
The five chapters of Lamentations depressingly portray the calamities
experienced by the Israelites after the fall of Jerusalem in 587 B.C. But in
the midst of all the lamenting, there are two verses that many people know and
deeply appreciate.
Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “It is of the Lord's mercies
that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every
morning: great is thy faithfulness” (KJV).
From those verses came the much-beloved hymn “Great is Thy
Faithfulness” (1923) which has been sung often for nearly 100 years now.
Also, while the word lament is not used, a closely related
idea is found in the New Testament as one of the Beatitudes spoken by Jesus
declares, “Blessed are those who mourn” (Matthew 5:4).
Lament is of great importance for people who are
suffering substantial loss—as well as for those who suffer in solidarity with
such people.
When we are experiencing catastrophic circumstances, lament
is highly appropriate. We don’t need people telling us to cheer up or suggest some
quick fix for our felt grief.
Even in public worship, there needs to be time for lamenting
as well as for rejoicing.
It is also important to lament for others—such as for those
in Ukraine and in Buffalo, as well as so many others suffering in various places
around the world.
As one writer explains, “Lament is a participation in the
pain of others.” And, “Lament is not only for the suffering; it is for solidarity
with the suffering. We love our neighbor when we allow their experience of pain
to become the substance of our prayer.”**
Even when we ourselves are happy/content, love for others obliges us to lament with those who aren’t. If we don’t often lament in times like these, doesn’t that indicate a serious deficiency in our love/empathy?
_____
* From “Lamentations: A Bottle for the Tears of the World,” a book review of Christopher J.H. Wright’s book The Message of Lamentations (2015), accessible here.
** From Five
Things to Know about Lament” by Glenn Packiam.
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This is a terrific blog, Leroy! Your last two sentences are not to be missed, so I will repost on FB.
ReplyDeleteI presume this was brought up in some fashion at the prayer meeting: While I celebrate with the Ukrainians their so-far successful resistance to Russian aggression and lament with them as you write, I also lament for the thousands of young Russian soldiers, most of whom, I'm sure, would just as soon not have had a war and who are dying and suffering terror, wounds, and lamings. (Of course, there are those military souls who welcome war, thinking, "This is what I've been trained for.") And I lament for everyday Russians losing work and income and for the suppression they're experiencing for a dictator who will not tolerate dissent.
Thanks for your comments, Anton--and thanks for sharing the blog post with your Facebook friends.
DeleteI appreciate how you regularly amplify the content of my blog posts and make them more meaningful. I'm not sure we did sufficiently lament for the suffering Russians at the prayer meeting mentioned. Surely the grief of the many Russian mothers who lost sons who were fighting in Ukraine needs to be lamented also. Many of those sons and perhaps most of those mothers who lost sons did not harbor ill will toward the Ukrainian people. And, yes, I agree that we are called on to lament with the many Russians who suffer because of the broader consequences of that war that they do not fully understand or support.
Here are comments from Thinking Friend David Nelson, whom I mentioned in the first paragraph:
ReplyDelete"Excellent reflection on the meaning of and practice of lament. I had not thought about this for many years, but current events and beginning to understand lament has been a healing gift. You bring vast knowledge and wonderful wisdom to this and so many other topics. Thanks for being a part of Morning Prayer the first and third Saturday mornings at 9 a.m. Central Time and Zoom."
These prayer meetings are open to interested persons, and each time there are people from outside the Kansas City area who participate--regularly including a man in Chicago. The next meeting is tomorrow (5/21) and here is information that David emailed this morning to regular attendees:
DeleteMorning Prayer May 21, 2022, 9 am Science and Religion (Allies or Enemies?) Nicolaus Copernicus, Scientist Zoom Meeting ID: 833 4666 6852 Passcode: 105732
Or, you can join by using this URL address: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83346666852
I was blind-sided by grief (lament) when my wife died. The first year was severe awful depression. It took 3 full years before I came out of that dark tunnel.
ReplyDeleteBlind-sided means that my U.S. culture and church and 10 years of seminary did not prepare me for this dangerous grief. I received monthly grief counseling monthly from an experienced therapist. After some 5 months of grief counseling, the husband of the therapist suddenly died. The therapist descended into extreme anger/depression. She had to leave our retirement community as her face expressed total anger 24/7. All her grief counseling was book knowledge. The real experience was killing her.
Pastors cannot preach about grief (lament) of a wife dying until some 10 years after retirement when their wife dies--something more than book knowledge. So congregations do not know the severity, danger, and normal 3 year grief of losing a spouse. Many do not survive. Dying of a broken heart. Dickson Yagi
Dickson, thanks for sharing your struggle with grief after the death of your dear wife Ellen. I am sorry that I was not able to offer more support to you at that time of your great loss.
DeletePerhaps your experience indicates how in general we as Americans and/or as Christians have not placed enough emphasis on the importance of lament and have not emphasized a community lamenting in solidarity with those who have suffered great loss. In our worship services we regularly have time to sing praises, but little opportunity to lament with and for others, to "weep with those who weep."
Thinking Friend Eric Dollard in Chicago shares these comments:
ReplyDelete"Thanks, Leroy, for your comments about lamentations, with which I fully agree. Lamentation can be an important part of the healing process.
"Plato, however, did not agree. In Book Three of "The Republic," he condemns Homer for describing the lamentations of Priam and Achilles over loved ones in the Trojan War. He thought that lamentations should be left to women. Displays of mourning by men are unmanly.
"In ancient times, professional mourners were sometimes hired for funerals. The excesses of these mourners may have partly been the impetus for Plato's negative view of lamentation.
"For most of us, it has been heart-wrenching to see Ukrainians, the people of Buffalo, and others mourning the loss of loved ones, especially the loss of children."
Thanks for your comments, Eric, which added information about Plato that I did not know.
DeleteThe Psalms of Lament, and the Book of Lamentations, are an often overlooked yet very significant part of the Hebrew Scriptures. Jesus quotation is, I think, often misinterpreted as God's absence because, according to penal substitution, Jesus had all the sins of humanity heaped upon him. I believe Jesus was never closer to God (if there can be differentiation within the Triunity) than when he felt utterly forsaken.
ReplyDeleteI can feel with Anonymous in his loss. I have not suffered the loss of my wife, but we did lose our baby daughter to Covid at the age of 64 1/2. And at the ages of 88 and 85 and after my wife suffered a severe injury in a fall, we have have had to give up our home and move in with our daughter and son-in-law who have made every effort to accomodate us. But it is a certain loss of independence for two very independent people.
We have since learned that our son-in-law, the husband of our daughter who died of Covid, has a return visit of his lung cancer which was treated a few years ago. He opts not to have treatment.
DeleteCharles, thanks for sharing your comments about lament--and the lamenting you have recently gone through. You certainly have had, and do have, reason to lament because of the death of your dear daughter, your wife's severe injury which necessitated transition, and now the return of your son-in-law's cancer. I am praying for you during these hard times.
DeleteLocal Thinking friend Linda Schroeder, who a few years ago was seriously injured in an accident in which her husband was tragically killed, first send these brief comments:
ReplyDelete"Well done, Leroy. Yes, my lamentations are many and deep, but so are the old and new mercies I celebrate “morning by morning.”
Then a little later she sent this relevant poem which she had received from a niece:
"'Tis a Fearful Thing" by Yehuda HaLevi (a Medieval Jewish poet, translated by Chaim Stern)
"‘Tis a fearful thing
to love what death can touch.
"A fearful thing
to love, to hope, to dream, to be – to be,
And oh, to lose.
"A thing for fools, this, And a holy thing,
a holy thing
to love.
"For your life has lived in me, your laugh once lifted me, your word was gift to me.
"To remember this brings painful joy.
"‘Tis a human thing, love,
a holy thing, to love
what death has touched.”
Thanks so much, Linda, for sharing this with me and other readers of this blog.
DeleteAnd here are comments from Sharon LaRose in Arizona, who became a Thinking Friend through the introduction of Ron Hornecker (mentioned in her comments) who I came to know decades ago when he was the pastor of my home church in northwest Missouri:
ReplyDelete"It has been through three, almost four, years of counseling with Dr. Ronald Hornecker that I have begun to understand 'grieving' is a part of life…which I have avoided my entire life. And now I have grown to understand lamenting on a much deeper level…to feel the depth of pain when others hurt and not avoid it and them. Sympathy and empathy have new meaning."
Thanks for sharing personal comments, Sharon, and I was pleased to hear that Bro. Ron was able to be of valuable assistance to you as you worked through your grief.
DeleteWhen I was young, the Beatitude "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted" (Matthew 5:4) was just another promise. Years later I realized it was a description as much as a promise. Mourning is a process for dealing with grief. Dealing with grief is the path to comforting. Too many people find mourning too painful, and then wonder why they are not comforted.
ReplyDeleteHow can any of us be a Christian if we do not pick up our cross and follow Jesus? Notice that Jesus did not tell us to pick up His cross (although one man did on the way to Calvary), or to pick up the cross somebody else wants us to carry. Love may guide us to many different pilgrimages, and part of that is finding the cross that belongs on our personal pilgrimages. Do not over think it, Jesus will work with the cross we lift, if we just lift it.
Wallowing in pain and anger, refusing to mourn, makes us lift up far worse than crosses. Whether it is Putin deciding to invade Ukraine and rock the world, or a troubled young man driving many miles to shoot up a store in Buffalo and rock the world, there is a reason Jesus went looking for the lost sheep. The lost sheep needed to mourn, and now we all lament.