TTT #29 We Should Always Go Easy on Judging Others—Or Ourselves

The bulk of this article is taken from the next to last chapter of my as yet unpublished book Thirty True Things Everyone Needs to Know Now (TTT). The final section of that chapter is included here, but I encourage you to click this link and also read the first three sections of the chapter.

The Case for Kindness

Christians have not always been kind to one another. The Catholic inquisitions of the Middle Ages, in which people designated as heretics were hunted down and executed, are infamous. Enmity and strife between Protestants and Catholics existed from the beginning of the Reformation, and Protestants began killing other Protestants as early as 1527.

Although there have not been religious wars in this country, still among Christian denominations and even within national and local churches often there has been harshness, incivility, and unkindness.

All of this is woefully contradictory to a challenging Biblical admonition: “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

Instead of being tough-minded and tender-hearted, too many Christians have too often been tender-minded and hard-hearted.

One of my favorite contemporary Christian authors has written a book titled Generous Orthodoxy. That is a good emphasis when it comes to theology; Christian thinkers need to be accepting and magnanimous rather than being mean-spirited and unkind.

The same is true for Christian believers of all kinds—and for adherents of others religions as well—as we seek to live out our faith. We need to be generous and open-minded in our evaluation of others rather than being critical and judgmental.

In a recent translation, 1 Peter 3:8 admonishes, “Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions.” These are good words to consider, and hard words to put into practice consistently.

But when we are tempted to say, or even think, critical words about other people, we need to recall this injunction to be sympathetic, loving, and compassionate.

When I was a freshman in college, I bought a little book titled Everyday Religion. I profited from reading that book then as a young man and I found it delightfully helpful when I read through it again a few years ago.

The first chapter is “When We Really Live,” and I have remembered through the years how the author says that we really live when, among other things, we know how to be “a little kinder than necessary every day.”

So when we start to be harsh and judgmental in evaluation of others, or ourselves, let’s remember these words and try, indeed, to be a little kinder than necessary. If we can do that, we will find that everyone will be better off.  

Denouncing Anti-Semitism

Although not a part of the 29^th chapter of TTT, last Saturday’s mass murder of Jews in Pittsburgh prompts me to reflect on how Christians, among others, have often not been kind, to say the least, toward Jewish people.

Although religious differences are real—and important—nothing can justify mistreatment of other people because of their religion or ethnicity.

This article is being posted on the morning before Reformation Day, which commemorates the beginning of the Protestant Reformation led by Martin Luther. Sadly, though, Luther’s judgmental and condemnatory words about the Jewish people have had a lasting negative impact on many Protestant Christians.

Please join me in sending condolences to those who are grieving in Pittsburgh, in denouncing all forms of anti-Semitism, and in pledging to be as kind as possible to all people, regardless of their religion (or lack thereof) or ethnicity.

An Appeal for Accurateness, Fairness, and Kindness

Like most of you, I often get forwarded e-mail messages that contain inaccurate, unfair, and unkind information. And also like you, I hear things being said on the radio or on TV that are of a similar nature.

Recently, I have received several forwarded e-mail messages from a friend and former colleague. A few days ago I responded by saying that I was disappointed in him. Since he is a minister, I wrote that I expect him not to forward e-mails that are inaccurate, unfair, and unkind.

I realize that from time to time I may express opinions on this blog that some of you do not agree with. But I have never knowingly or intentionally written anything that is inaccurate, unfair, or unkind. If any of you ever think that I have done that, please let me know. It is natural for people to have different opinions, but they ought to be able to agree on the facts.

Bernard Baruch (1870-1965) was an American financier and presidential advisor. You have probably heard his oft-quoted words, spoken in 1950, but here they are again: “Every man has a right to his own opinion, but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts.” (I am sure he thought that the same was true for women.)

Rotary International has an excellent “four-way test” that is often repeated at their meetings. This is the first of the four tests: “Is it the truth?” That is what Rotarians seek to ask themselves about everything they think, say, or do. What a difference it would make in society if we all asked ourselves that question and sought to say only that which is truthful (accurate).

“Is it fair to all concerned?” is the second part of Rotary’s four-way test: Fairness is an attitude marked by impartiality and honesty; it is free from self-interest, prejudice, or favoritism. Fairness sees all people as being of equal value, so it doesn’t treat some people better than others just because they are friends.

And then there is the important matter of kindness. Someone has said, “Kindness is loving people more than they deserve.” That is probably true. Thus, unkindness is treating people worse than they deserve.

During this election season, I wish that our politicians, and their supporters, would only say things that are accurate, fair, and kind. But I guess there is little chance of that happening. Still, we all need to decide on whom to vote for on the basis of a rational evaluation of the positions the candidates take on the important issues of the day. Certainly our votes should never be swayed by inaccurate, unfair, or unkind remarks. And we shouldn’t seek to sway other peoples’ votes by that means either.

Good citizens and people of integrity will try never to be guilty of saying (or passing on) information (or campaign propaganda) that is inaccurate, unfair, or unkind. So let’s pledge that we will seek, as much as possible, to be accurate, fair, and kind in all that we say and do. And let’s encourage our politicians (as well as our friends) to do the same.